One Day at the Asylum

Hello Doctor.

Good morning, Abdul. Do sit down.


Now, let's see. This is our 51st session, isn't it?

Seems about right.

Last time I really thought we were getting somewhere, but I just want to return to basics, so to speak - summarize where we are. OK with you?

Why not?

Right. Perhaps you could tell me once again why you are a Musllim?

Everyone should be Muslim.

Perhaps, but that's not really an answer, is it? What I want to know is WHY.

It's Allah's will.

And who is Allah exactly?

He is our God.

Whose God?

Muslims' God. Everyone's God.

Can you tell me how you know this?

It's in the Koran, his Holy Book.

How do you know it is his Holy Book?

Because he told it to Muhammed.

Who exactly is Muhammed, the original one?

He's Allah's Prophet.

Prophet? Someone who prophesies? What did he prophesy exactly?

That ISLAM will dominate the world.

When and where did Allah tell this to Muhammed?

In 610 ad, in a cave.

Did Allah speak to Muhammed directly?

No, he passed his message via Angels. He only spoke directly to Muhammed when the latter went to Heaven.

Did anyone witness these messages from angels?

No. Muhammed was the Chosen One, the Prophet.

What would you say, Abdul, if I told you that we had found a thousand other people who claim to have had divine revelations just like Muhammed?

They are delusional.

But in a sense, Abdul, that is what they ALL claim about Muhammed, and of course each other?

But they are the messengers of Satan.

How can you be sure?

Because Allah is all-wise and all-knowing, and Muhammed is his chosen messenger, the perfect human.

But how can you be sure?

Because I am. Muhammed is the Prophet.

Do you know, Abdul, that In Hijra year 5 (627 AD), on the orders of the Islamic Prophet Muhammad, almost nine hundred innocent Jews of a Medinan tribe named Banu Qurayza were massacred by Muslims. The killing began early in the day, ending in torchlight. Those who escaped death were taken captive and sold at slave markets, including the women and children. Does this massacre seem like the act of "the perfect human" to you?

If that happened, then it was Allah's will because the Jews were the children of Satan who deserved to die.

OK, Abdul. Let's change tack for a moment. What does being a Muslim mean to you?

We live as ordained by Allah through the Holy Koran.

And what does that entail exactly?

The Koran teaches us how to worship Allah with prayers, what the role of women is, how many wives men can have, the age of girls we are allowed to marry, how we can divorce, what we must eat and drink, how we must kill animals to eat (except pork, which is of course haram, as pigs are impure) and how we must dress. It specifies the punishments for sins against Allah. It explains that non-believers are the agents of Satan and must convert to ISLAM or be punished, that nobody can convert from ISLAM and that homosexuality is a sin against Allah. It also tells us that Allah is the only authority allowed on Earth, so we don't believe in "democracy". We put up with it because we have to, but as soon as we can we will abolish it and set up a Caliphate, a society ruled by Allah through a Caliph. In the meantime, the Koran tells us we can lie in order to achieve this divine goal (taqiyya). Stuff like that.

When you say "we", you mean "we men" I take it?

Of course. Allah decreed that men are superior to women.

I see, and if I understand correctly, all aspects of your life are defined by what is in the Koran? You have no freedom of action or thought in these matters?

Of course we have freedom, but we must obey the will of Allah. Allah is all-wise, all-loving ....

And this project to dominate the world, how is that going?

Very well, Inch Allah. There are already 50,000,000 Muslims in Europe, more arriving all the time and of course men can have multiple wives and girls can be married at the age of six and have sexual relations from the age of 9 - just like the Prophet. And the icing on the cake is that Western women are having fewer and fewer children.

Hmmm. I think that is probably enough for today, Abdul. I am not sure we have made quite the progress I had hoped for. Let me summarize:

Your whole way of life and your entire moral code are dictated by the Koran, a book inspired uniquely by the unwitnessed visions of a single Arab man in a desert cave 1400 years ago? Adherence to the Muslim cult (which was spread through brutal military force) dominates your life and you have no freedom to modify your beliefs because they are Allah's word and will and ipso facto cannot be challenged in any way? Is that right?

Of course; it is Allah's will.

Thank you, Abdul. The orderly will escort you back to your cell now.